Obsession of the Week: PEANUT BUTTERRRRRR

I tried for weeks to not buy it. Really, I tried. I tried SOOOOO hard. Why, you ask, did I have to avoid peanut butter like an alcoholic does alcohol and a druggie does drugs? Well, my friends, that's because I have a life-long addiction to peanut butter.

This began as every childhood begins: peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Had them as a kid and LOOOOOOOOVED them. So good. It was like manna from the gods. Saving me every lunch day and taking me to my special paradise at the lunch table, palm trees and waterfalls included.

My baby brother was born when I was 8. He was found to have a peanut allergy. HAHAHAHAAHAH the gods are uniting against me, you're thinking. Well, we still had peanut butter in the house because my brother was a baby and couldn't eat anything you didn't physically put into his mouth. And I wasn't making my lunches yet because I was only 8. Therefore, I did not have control over the peanut butter...yet.

When I was in grade school, my mom had to go to school earlier in the morning than I did so I had to make my own lunch if I wanted it. The peanut butter and jelly sandwiches started off normal at a 1:1 ratio. Gradually, however, as the peanut butter taste bud on my tongue grew and grew, the ratio grew to 2:1...then 4:1....and next thing you know, it's a sandwich of peanut butter and a little bread and maybe jelly. It got that bad.

This continued on into high school. I was going through that phase...you know that phase....come on don't make me say it....that phase that girls go through? Yeah that one. Well, I happened to gain a little weight and, about the same time, my mom got kind of concerned about The Golden Child (this is what my younger-older brother, only 18 months younger than me, and I call him. Because he is the baby of the family. TO THE EXTREME) getting into the peanut butter. Irrational fear. She was worried about the kid who, since he was 3, would go trick-or-treating and before the homeowners could barely open the door would say, "I can't have anything that says, 'Makes and trains peanuts.' " (When we would first read the back of the labels to him that said, "May contain peanuts," he took that to mean that this came from a magical place where the peanuts were trained.) No more peanut butter in our house. Except I would find jars of peanut butter hidden in baby bro's room (this is what I'll call my younger-older brother). And then I would find them in the laundry room. "Who are they hiding the peanut butter from?" I would think. "Golden Child knows not to eat this stuff." Secretly, I was grateful. My urge was uncontrollable.

Well now I'm on my own and I finally broke down. I was trying not to buy it because I seriously looooove peanut butter. Did you know that? So this week I got a little baby jar to make small steps. "Control, control, control." I thought as I opened the lid. Well I might as well have opened Pandora's box. This was Monday.

All week I got creative with my applications of peanut butter: peanut butter on a bagel, honey and peanut butter sandwich, peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter with a little bread...I mean a piece of bread with a little peanut butter, a spoonful of peanut butter as an after-dinner treat, peanut butter on an oreo (just kidding-I didn't do that but Outdoors Woman did. I didn't take it that far.) One day I even had peanut butter for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You don't think my fat intake has gone up much, do you? Yeah, me neither.

So I'm trying to be the grown-up that I promised my parents I would be while I am two states away. I'm going to control this addiction, this...this...obsession with peanut butter. I can do it.....right?