I may or may not be in a commercial with Michael Irvin

So we had to lift weights on Monday. We do it every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I live off campus so I had to bring clothes to change into after class. I woke up late so I could arrive fashionably late to class, therefore forcing myself to grab the most random outfit of clothes I could find PLUS the unattractive socks that I only wear in the boat in the morning when it's dark out and no one can see how ridiculous my feet look. As if they care. Anyway, so I also grabbed the most unattractive pair of spandex I own. To lift weights in. Plus this shirt that hugs you in ALL the wrong places. Don't you hate that? This pair of spandex, for some reason, has extra threading at the end of the thigh holes so it hugs your thighs extra tight. (I also wear these in the boat in the morning in the dark when no one can see me. Hey, they put off laundry for one extra practice. Don't judge.) Thus, they make my thighs look like upside-down triangles of black. So unattractive. So I'm wearing this ridiculous looking excuse for work-out gear when I walk downstairs to go to the weight room when I see cameras, lights, backgrounds, and people EVERYWHERE. I'm also void of all make-up and, at this point, self-esteem. To top it off, the boy's swimming team is lifting at the same time as us that day and, as you know, all boy's swimming teams have the bods of gods. ALL OF THEM. It's like you have to be beautiful to be on the swimming team in the first place. Who cares if you can swim! As long as you look good and can flex every muscle while you're swimming, then jump on in! They'll teach you to go fast because, with that body, you can pretty much do whatever you want....


Anyway, so we are lifting weights when this very nicely dressed gorgeous man comes walking in and sits down at one of the lifting stations in front of the camera and crew. They are doing a commercial or a public service announcement or something. We get a water-break. Our weights coach obviously wants a good look as much as we do. The football boys keep popping their heads into the room to get a good look as this guy. "Back off," I think, "This is OUR weights time. Maybe your coach should have scheduled yours when a famous person is doing a commercial. Now scram." Bag Lady and I are walking over to get a drink from the water cooler (which just so happens to be RIGHT NEXT TO the station he's sitting at) when she starts drooling. "Pull yourself together! We don't even know who that is!" "I can't help it. He's just so...so...so....sexy. God help me." She almost faints, but makes the most of her water break by drinking no less than 5 cups of water. And drooling most of it out of her mouth. Now that I think about it, that's why she sprinted out of the room and down the hall when our coach dismissed us after weights....


So they start rolling the cameras and that's when Bag Lady and I decide to start walking back to our station. After walking extra slow behind his station so that we might have a chance to look like creepers in the background of this oh-so-classy commercial, I again realize what I look like. So now I'm half-hoping they keep that shot and half-hoping they don't. Either way, that man was goooood-looking. And I'm not afraid to admit it. And I may or may not have been in a commercial with him.

Did I mention he used to play for the Dallas Cowboys, is in the Hall of Fame, and has is own show....

.....and apparently was invovled with some sort of drug possession? I was looking for pictures of him and found this little bit of info:

(Circa 1996)
Police interrupted Irvin's 30th birthday party, finding 10.3 grams of cocaine, marijuana, and two topless dancers. Reportedly, Irvin threatened one of the topless dancers, Rachel Smith. Her boyfriend Johnnie Hernandez -- an officer of the Dallas Police Department -- was arrested after he paid $2960 to a DEA agent in order to have Irvin murdered. Irvin pleaded no contest to cocaine possession in a plea bargain, for which he received four years probation and a $10,000 fine, in addition to eight hundred hours community service.

He also has about 10293981209843 brothers and sisters.

Source:

http://www.nndb.com/people/417/000032321/

So......how 'bout them Rangers?