My professor

thinks I'm a crazy, drunken skank.


But I'm not. I actually don't drink that much....probably about twice a month. My usual means of entertainment entails going out with my friends, remaining completely sober, and watching the night unfold into chaos. Sobriety is underrated. For all of you who think "there's no way I can step into a bar sober because I can't stand drunk people"....well, think again. I'm sure you can. And I'm sure you'd be pleasantly surprised.


Those stories are for another time and place. This one actually IS about my professor.


It's about this morning. The wonderful Monday mornings of college where you reluctantly drag yourself to class if only to swap Friday/Saturday night stories about your crew with one of your "class friends." (We all have them----the people you don't hang out with on the weekend but are basically BFFs with in class so you each only have to do half of the review.....yep.) Well this is exactly what I was doing with one of my "class friends" before my 11 AM Accounting class. We were muttering under our breath, giggling (with a few bursts of laughter), and having a hard time telling the stories all together because they were just that good. I have this huge sneaky grin on my face when all of a sudden my friend goes, "Oh my GOD. Don't look now, but our professor was just watching us." Ok, so when someone goes, "Don't look now," of course you look! So yeah, I looked and he was definitely watching us being all silly in the back row.

As soon as we make eye contact, he starts laughing and turns to the board to start class. I nervously laugh and turn bright red. There's no way he heard, right?! I mean, we are in the back of the class. And he's down in the front....Oh good LORD, I hope he doesn't think I was talking about myself. I comfort myself by thinking, 'Oh, he's been a professor here for many years--I'm sure he's heard worse.' Then I resolve to forget about it and try to understand accounting.

We're doing a problem in class when he tells us to finish it on our own and then discuss our answer with our neighbor. Well of course my friend and I aren't going to discuss anything related to accounting (DUH)--she has a story to finish! So we get all quiet again and pretend that we're talking about amortization until big smiles appear and giggling starts coming out of our mouths. I don't know if you've ever been in an accounting class, but there is absolutely nothing in that class that would make you smile OR laugh....unless you're laughing because the subject is so ridiculous and you can't understand a thing (because I laugh a lot when it comes to that).

It's almost time for us to be finished "discussing" when I look up to the front of class and see my professor watching us...again. The big goofy smile turns to a look of horror because I know he knows what we're talking about. I'm mortified. He begins laughing again--loudly--and catches the attention of the entire front row. "What's so funny, professor?" a few of them ask. "Oh, nothing," he says as he tries to compose himself. My friend can barely contain herself when she starts laughing again and lets out a loud, obnoxious shriek. The entire class turns to look at us, then back to our professor, then back to us. My friend's head is buried in her arms on her desk as she tries to get a hold of herself while I'm a frozen deer in headlights as I meet all the wondering eyes of my classmates. Then they look at each other with intrigue, shrug their shoulders, and turn back to the front of class.

And then I slumped down in my seat and pretended to disappear into the floor. Laughing, my friend mutters, "I guess I'll finish the story after class."



"I think you better."