So my little brother (we'll call him Pretty Boy) is quite cute. And yes, I'm a little biased, but the talent agency he worked for and the people who signed him to shoot various commercials (including The Sunflower House and Build-A-Bear) seem to agree with me. He is also one of the sweetest 12-year-olds you'll ever meet, giving me a hug whenever he enters or exits the room. He's also got an incredible six-pack with muscles trying to bust out of his arms and legs. Yes, he's the whole package. And how does he get such an amazing bod? Well by sitting on the couch playing XBox eating Cheetos and Oreos of course! I mean, doesn't that work for you? .......I know, some things just aren't fair.
So this weekend when my roommate Outdoors Woman was in town and we were all swimming in the pool, she said, "Pretty Boy should have his own Disney Channel show. I would for sure watch it and I know so many other people would too!" We laughed and agreed and went on fighting over the raft. Then, about an hour later, Outdoors Woman and I were talking when all of a sudden she goes, "SHhhhh! LISTEN!"............. Then I hear the radio: "Do you want to be on the Disney Channel? Think you could have your own show? Want to work with your favorite Disney actors like Demi Lovato and The Jonas Brothers? Do YOU have what it takes? Then call this number today! You could be the next Disney STAR!" I immediately jump out of the pool, grab my phone, and dial the number. Pretty Boy is waving his hands in front of his body as if to say, 'WHAT are you doing?!?!?" as I start talking to some talent agent on the phone. She asks if I am registering myself or my child and I say, "My child," and stifle giggles. She doesn't believe I'm old enough to have a kid (grant it I was 7 years old when Pretty Boy was born) and asks to speak to a parent. After a few more minutes of answering questions and nodding, my mom confirms that Pretty Boy is going to a talent scouting the next day at 5:30. Outdoors Woman and I are jumping for joy while Pretty Boy sinks lower into the pool. Mom asks us to come with her and says the lady told everyone to "dress to impress" and that Pretty Boy needs a head and body shot. We're on it.
The next day we wake up and immediately get to work on the photo shoot. I pull various outfits from Pretty Boy's closet and he walks out of his room in khaki pants and a button-down light blue dress shirt. He is for sure ready for his close-up! He has his long blond hair bushed over to the side and boasts a bright white smile that contrasts nicely with his golden tanned skin. How dare he hog all the good genes!! While he was getting ready, I gave myself a 5 minute photography course by studying the pictures around the house showcasing the various poses we held as young children when our mother forced us to get our picture taken every 6 months. After such a brief intro to photography, I am ready to launch Pretty Boy's modeling and acting career. I set up props and chairs on the screened in porch, but Pretty Boy has so much natural raw talent that it only takes 10 minutes until we have the perfect shot. If only things were that easy for everyone.
Later, we all get ready and head out to the Overland Park Convention Center. We sign Pretty Boy in and walk into a room that resembles an American Idol Audition. There are soooo many people. We all look at each other, laugh, and sit down at least knowing we seized some kind of opportunity and will probably remember this evening forever, even though we know the probability of something actually happening is very slim. We sit and wait and wait and wait and watch some intro video and wait and listen to talent agents talk and wait and it's finally Pretty Boy's turn. Mom, Pretty Boy, Outdoors Woman and I get up all giddy and giggling; we are so excited! Mom walks Pretty Boy up to a talent scout while OW and I stand next to him. She asks PB many questions, looks at his application and photos, and seems to be liking him. Next follows a dialogue that made us laugh for the rest of the evening:
Talent Scout (TS): "It says here you play sports. What kind of sports?"
Pretty Boy (PB): "Umm golf, track, basketball, football, kickball..."
TS: "And do you play every day?"
PB: "Well, no, not really I guess....I--"
ME: "--Hey! You play every day. You have practices and golf lessons and you play outside with your friends all the time and--"
TS: (Turns to me) "--And who are you? Are you his sister?"
ME: "Yes, I signed him up for this actually and I just want him to be his best and--"
TS: "--And are you auditioning today?"
ME: "Haha no."
TS: "Well, why not?!"
ME: "Because the age limit is 17 and I'm 20."
TS: "You're 20?!?! No way! You could be 16! What's your name?"
ME: *Gives full name*
TS: "And do you live here in Overland Park? What do you do?"
ME: "Well no, I go to school in Texas--"
Mom: "But she lives here in the summer and this is her permanent home." *Gives me a sideways look*
TS: "Right. So where do you go to school?"
ME: *Gives school name and info*
TS: "So why have you never gone into modeling or acting?"
ME: "Because I've done sports all my life. I'm a sporty girl."
TS: "So why have you never gone into modeling or acting? Why have you never pursued this?"
ME: "Because I was always in about 3 different sports and going to practices and stuff. I just never did."
TS: "But you're much to pretty to be a sport girl. Are you interested in the entertainment business?"
ME: (giggling--this is too funny) "Well, yes I suppose."
TS: "And if you were chosen, would you now pursue this?"
ME: "Yes! I mean I guess if I'm good at something or have a shot then I will definitely give it all I've got."
TS: "Ok great. And how tall are you?"
Me "5'8"
TS: "And you must weigh about 130 pounds..." *writes it down*
ME: "HAHAHAAH Oh my gosh I LOVE you! No."
TS: *Gives questionable look* "What are you talking about? How much do you weigh?"
ME: *Gives number*
TS: *Gives even larger questioning look* "WHAT?! Well where are you hiding it?"
ME: "Well I'm a student-athlete at my school....and I guess it's in my muscles....ummm I don't know...."
TS: "Well whatever; you don't look like you weigh that much. Good for you."
ME: "Uhh thanks?"
*****This whole entire time, I'm thinking, 'No no no! Don't focus on me! Focus on my cute little brother over there--he's the one we came here for! Pretty Boy, Pretty Boy, Pretty Boy.' I felt so bad because I was worried she wasn't looking at him at all. But she was, thank goodness*****
TS: "Ok, this is what I am going to do (turns to mom): I definitely want the boy to audition because I like his look, but I also want your daughter to audition. She is extremely marketable because she's a lot older, but has such a young look that she could be styled to play someone much younger than her actual age. Go outside and get her a script. I want to get her on camera to see how she does; don't worry about memorizing it because she hasn't had the last 2 hours like everyone else. I am going to call you on Monday after their auditions to talk. If you don't hear from me, I still want you to e-mail the general address given to everyone but I'm also going to give you my private line so that I don't forget about you. Good luck!"
All four of us walk away laughing and slapping our knees and my mom is beaming with pride. I take Pretty Boy's script and immediately start getting nervous. My mom tries to calm my fears and says, "Hey, it doesn't matter. We didn't come expecting this anyway so just do your best."
Pretty Boy goes first and he does awesome! He thought he was supposed to take his score card with him so he goes back over to the other talent scout, but the guy waves him away. He still snuck a look at his card and HE GOT ALL TENS! I'm so proud of him. I went next and, well, we'll see how it goes. My mom gets a phone call today so I'll let you know then!
For now, keep reading my blog because I going to Europe for 6 weeks from July 3rd to August 15th to study abroad at the University of Oxford and will for sure be updating it as I also go to London, Paris (France), Pittem (Belgium), and the Netherlands. But you should also keep reading because I am a superstar on the rise and you can track my climb to the top! Haha just kidding. But that was a pretty funny experience and definitely an ego boost!
Can't wait to watch you two on the Disney Channel. How about a Hannah Montana spin-off, "Hazel Montazel?"
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