"Eye" am so smart!

So the other night I stayed up late blogging and Internet surfing when I finally decided to go to bed after a loooooong day of fun-filled activities with Outdoors Woman.


I. Was. Exhausted.


I separated my body from the couch (it molded to the shape of my body we had been lounging there long enough) and trudged stair after stair up to my bed. I must pat myself on the back for using the last ounce of energy I had to wash my face--I'm usually not good at doing that when I go to bed late.


So I had washed my face and needed to remove the remaining make-up. With my eyes half-open, I grabbed the purple bottle I assumed to be my make-up remover and put a little on a cotton ball like I always do. I had removed my nail polish earlier that day and the nail polish remover is ALSO purple. Put two and two together and you can figure it out......



Yes, I put a cotton ball of nail polish remover on my closed eyelid and IMMEDIATELY felt the burn. I knew something was wrong when I smelled an awful smell from my fragrant free make-up remover and the skin on my eyelid was burning like never before. About .3 seconds after I put the cotton ball up there, I let out a little scream, dropped the cotton ball and started dabbing my eyelid with a towel, then went over to the sink to wash it out. I started laughing because ONLY I would do something so stupid and so dangerous without even thinking! I'm pretty sure I'm alright because I never opened my eye so it technically didn't get in it, but I still kept flushing my closed eyes with water until I was sure it was off my skin. Then, I opened my eyes, flushed with water a little bit more, and read the back of the nail polish remover bottle that said, "Do not eat. Do not swallow. Do not inhale. Avoid eye contact. If you get some in your eye, flush with water for AT LEAST 15 minutes and contact a physician." I flushed for about 3 minutes and considered that good enough. I performed a self examination of my own eye and saw no redness or swelling so I assumed I was fine. I stayed up for 15 more minutes just to make sure nothing changed physically with my eye and called it a night. I thought, 'Well, if I wake up blind, then I'll know for sure I didn't get it all out.' Not a good thing to think but I was so tired and was pretty sure it was all out.


As I was falling asleep, I started thinking about eye patches and how I would handle that whole field. I initially thought of the standard black one, but since I don't really want to look like an evil menace trying to take over the world, I came up with a few variations:
**Painting an eye on top of the patch. From far away it would just look like I have a really severe black eye all the time. At least I'll look pretty hard-core and I can always tell people I won the fight.
**Hologram-perfect conversation starter. Instead of looking into my beautiful eyes, people will try to figure out what's going on top of one of them, see the gorgeous other one, then ask to buy me a drink!
**Art/Advertising-I can make money by charging new artists to display smaller versions of their artwork on my eye. It would be perfect because it's all at eye level and people will be wondering what the heck is going on when they see me and I'll be able to get the artist's name out there. Or I could just work for The Man and go commercial. I'm sure they would pay much better.


I thought I had some promising ideas on how I would handle this little incident and was content with myself as I fell asleep. To my luck, I woke up the next day with two functioning eyes! I chalked the night up to carelessness and stupidity and vowed to never do something like that again....as long as I can help it...


And you know I can't, so stay tuned for more later.