This is getting bad.
By convincing others, I think I've convinced myself that I actually am an interpretive dancer.
It should have been a one-time joke, but I actually claimed it twice as my profession. I should explain.
We wanted to go to this dance club called "Aura" that is in Uptown. We went there a lot last year and a few times this year, so we figured it wouldn't be a problem. Except, this time, we were with 5 guys and they usually only let people in who aren't on the list if you're a group of girls. But, I was feeling super confident thanks to my boy J. Daniels AND it was my friend's 21st birthday, so I figured I'd try to talk us in anyway.
I completely surpass the velvet rope and line of people patiently waiting to get in and go up to the bouncer and say, "Hey, it's my friend's 21st birthday. Will you let us in?"
He looks at me like, 'Are you on crack?' but checks the list anyway. "Are you on the list?"
"Ermm....yeah, yeah we are."
"Ok, what's the name?"
"Uhh....King. The name is King." (There had to be someone under the reservation 'King' right?? I mean, there's a lot of cocky people in Dallas--especially in Uptown--so I figured they'd use that pseudo-name.)
He uses his little earpiece to call inside. "Hey, I don't have the name 'King' on the list out here, do you have it on the list in there?" After a few minutes where I basically died like 5 times, he looks me dead in the eyes and goes, "You're not on the list." Damn.
Am I embarrassed? Surprisingly, no. I couldn't really care less. And this is basically because I know that some way, somehow, we are going to get into that club. So my group walks to the back of the line behind the velvet rope. I'm freezing (I'm in a white lace tank top and its in the 40s) and I want to dance. Therefore, after about 5 or so minutes, I get the other bouncer's attention.
"Hey! Psst....hey!"
He looks at me like, 'Ok, here we go,'..... and as politely as he can manage, he says, "Can I help you?"
"Actually, yes. I know for a fact that it's not crowded in there, so you need to let us in. Like, right now."
He looks at me like, 'You are f****** with me right?!'......and as politely as he can manage, he says, "Can I ask what you do for a living?"
"Yes, I'm an interpretive dancer."
He looks at me like, 'There's nooooooo way that's possible,' but doesn't feel like fighting that fight......and as politely as he can manage, he says, "Ok, if people let you do your job, will you let me do mine?" ((OUCH))
"That depends, are you gonna let us in?"
"Can you let me do my job?"
"Are you gonna let us in?"
"Can you let me do my job?"
"Are you gonna let us in?"
"You can't answer a question with a question."
"Yes I can."
"No you can't."
"Yes-huh."
"No, in fact, you can't. If you took a test and answered every question with a question, you would fail that test."
Silence.
"OK sooooooooo....are you gonna let us in?"
He looks at me like, 'WHAT ARE YOU ON?'.....and as politely as he can manage, he says, "Ok, obviously I don't own this place so I just can't let anyone in. And, you're with a bunch of guys and we usually don't let a lot of guys in with so few girls. Let me talk to my boss and see what I can do.....but I'll probably let you in."
SUPER!
He's about to turn to walk away when I say, "Excuse me, but can I ask you one more question?" His head is about to explode as he grits his teeth and manages to politely say, "Yes, what?"
"I really do want to do this the right way and I appreciate you helping us, so how do I get on the list in the future?" ((I was trying to be polite and seem interested so hopefully that would help our chances of getting in....and I also want to be on the list next time.)) He gives me the details and I thank him as he goes to talk to his boss. I turn around and my friends' mouths are touching the floor. "HALEY! Where did that come from?? What are you doing??" "Well, it's John's birthday and I want him to have fun. So we're getting in."
The bouncer comes back and starts flirting a little as he says, "Ok, I'll let you in, but only because you girls are really cute and that was really brave. But you have to wait a few more minutes in the cold because you're wearing a white lace tank top." Thanks, buddy.
He gave me his card. He was pretty cute. I'm pretty sure he's in my age range. I plan on calling to thank him....maybe.
baahah you are such a good writer! was this the saturday before the snow day?? because funny enough my friend told the bouncer she just had to use the bathroom and he let us right in that night. i was super surprised and very reluctant to just go in for a second, as it is such a popping club but maybe try that line in the future hehe :)) but im sure you'll be on the list anywayyy.
ReplyDeletehahah! actually I got a manager's name and phone number and He WIlL put us on the list every time! Works like a charm! :)
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