99 Starbucks to Go

After spending nearly the entire day in class in the Business School (11:00 AM to 5:30 PM) with a few hours of studying still ahead of me, I decided I needed to get out of the beige basement of death and off of SMU's campus entirely in order to maintain some level of sanity. Therefore, I figured this was the perfect opportunity to test out another Starbucks and continue with my experiment.

I promptly pulled out my Blackberry device (that is slowly dying, mind you) and searched for some Starbucks in the area. It returned with over 10 Starbucks within 1 mile of where I was. So many options. I chose the one off of Hillcrest over by Snider Plaza (for those of you familiar with the area) and set out to find my next Starboy.

I arrived around 6:00 PM as people were getting off work and treating themselves to something warm after a long, hard day at work. And when I say "people," I mean "women." Yes, this Starbucks must have attracted almost every woman in the University Park/SMU area. No men.

'What the hell is going on?' I thought as I sat down to do my homework. 'I just wasted a buck-fifty on this coffee to sit at this coffeehouse full of WOMEN!' Just as I was grumbling to myself about the lack of testosterone and the overwhelming aroma of too many perfumes, I caught a glimpse of khaki cargo pants and a short haircut. Just as I was expecting to see a gorgeous man walk in and immediately come over and introduce himself to me (of course), I finally got a good look and.....

It was a 13-year-old boy. With his geometry tutor. While she was talking about how she was perpendicular to the floor and the table-top was parallel, the boy ignored her and ordered a skinny mocha latte with no whip and a pink straw. Great. Not only is he 13, but he's gay. Don't get me wrong; I don't have anything against people who are gay at all. I have a few friends who are gay and I respect their way of life and decisions. We all are entitled to a happy and fulfilling life and I support that. Therefore, that is not my point. Rather, it was as if this Starbucks had a huge sign out front that said, "If you don't shave the hair off of your body or get mani/pedis on a regular basis, don't bother coming in." (Yes, the boy looked like he did both.)

I stayed there for 2 and 1/2 hours doing homework and seeing if my initial impression of the Starbucks on Hillcrest was correct. Unfortunately, it was.

The only people who got coffee or hung out and talked were either SMU girls, moms picking up their daughters from the dance studio down the street or individual 20-something female joggers getting a little pick-me-up on their way back from their workout.

Correction: ONE male stepped into the Starbucks today. He scanned the room with a confused look on his face and asked everyone if this was the Starbucks on Hillcrest. A few girls replied "Yes," with eager looks on their faces. He looked a little scared and mumbled, "Ohh, uhh, I'm supposed to be meeting someone in this Starbucks I think...maybe not..." as he ducked out the door and began making a phone call.

My theory: the phone call was a pretend phone call. He was intimidated/shocked by the overwhelming ratio of women to men and couldn't defend himself should all the women present decide to band together and throw him out of Starbucks for intruding on our les-fest.

Therefore, I have successfully crossed one Starbucks off my list. I won't return to the Starbucks on Hillcrest because I don't have an unlimited supply of money to be spending at a Starbucks that won't secure me a date for Saturday night.

99 more Starbucks to visit until I find my Starboy.

Operation Starboy

I knew I hadn't posted in awhile, but I didn't realize that it's nearly been a month!

(AKA, time to do my roots again.)

Anyway, I've been gone because my computer decided to have a complete meltdown on me. Literally. My hard drive went kaput, leaving me without a computer for about a week and a half. What happened to the other 2 and a 1/2 weeks whilst I was gone? Ohh a mere popped tire on the way to failing a midterm, babysitting consumed my life (I. Need. Money.) and the fact that I pretty much became a baby Chihuahua trying to doggie paddle to keep its head above water when it came to schoolwork and passing my midterms. This past month has been----there are no words.

So I'm in need of some lovin'. Haha, just kidding....well sort of. I'm not that tacky, but you may change your mind once you hear the new experiment I've cooked up. My friend Mary Kate (from my twins Mary Kate and Ashley-not their real names) dubbed it "Operation Starboy." And it is a completely covert operation. For now.

It entails this: visit every Starbucks in the Dallas/University Park area (100+) to find your soul mate. It's gonna work, I swear.

My friend and I decided to embark on this operation after not one, but TWO of my good friends found their boyfriends at Starbucks. The first time it happened I was in Europe and she met him while visiting a friend in California. She lives in Colorado while he's in California and they're doing the whole long-distance thing after they met at Starbucks. When she told me about it, I thought, "Wow, that's crazy. That's like in a movie; too bad that doesn't happen that often." Or does it?

A few weeks ago, another friend was sitting at Starbucks when she met a guy. They talked for a few hours and he asked her out. I was like, "Are you serious? This is not real life." They met a week later--for coffee--and departed on good terms. She went on with her day until she needed another caffeine hit and went back to the same Starbucks, met another guy, talked to him for awhile, and then was asked out by HIM!!! WTF IS GOING ON AT STARBUCKS?!

Therefore, my friend and I decided that we were going to give this whole "look approachable at Starbucks" thing a try. We came down here yesterday afternoon and sat outside trying to look attractive as the 4:00 PM Texas sun brought the temperature up to a warm 83 degrees. I was in black pants and a sweater. Sweating profusely and trying to juggle my coffee, laptop, and book, I was a mess. Not approachable.

On the way home, we decided to turn this into an experiment. And maybe we shouldn't go together every time because two girls are less approachable than one. We decided that we are going to visit different Starbucks in the area and then record the interactions that happen between us and different Starbuckians. Maybe it can become a book or something. Like a coffee table book. You know, the ones that people buy but never actually read? Except hopefully people would read this one. Wouldn't that be funny if it ended up on the coffee table at Starbucks? Hahaha I'm so funny.

Anyway, since my trip here yesterday was a failure (including the part where a guy standing across the outdoor patio from me wearing headphones and NOT drinking coffee or doing anything stared at me for about 20 minutes and failed to look away or move--weird) I decided to come back in the morning by myself, sit inside, and look attractive and not too busy to interrupt. And all I've got so far is some small talk in line with a late-20-something and the inevitable sharing of a couch. Except I'm squished as far as possible to the left side because I'm scared shitless to talk or even move an inch closer to the cutie sitting on my right.

I think I need some pointers from my friends. Or maybe I just need to try another Starbucks.